Can I train my negotiation skills? Negotiating competence consists of the ability to reach interesting agreements and consensuses that satisfy the parties concerned.
On many occasions we find ourselves in complex situations in which reaching these agreements becomes more difficult, and where disagreements may arise from ideas, points of view and conflicting opinions on certain issues. It is then that we are faced with situations in which we have to manage conflicts and negotiate in more delicate situations.
It is essential to be able to develop a good negotiation capacity in conflicts to develop other related skills, such as empathy, (which allows us to put ourselves in the place of the other person and understand their ideas, opinions and emotions) and the communication, (which will allow ideas to be expressed in the best possible way to reach a win/win consensus).
My negotiation skills
To understand this competence I would like to refer to
They plant that normally 5 possible behaviors are used to deal with conflicts and their management, depending on the level at which I seek the satisfaction of my own interests, (Assertiveness) and the level at which I seek the satisfaction of the interests of others, (Cooperation).
COMPETITIVE STYLE- I Win/You Lose
It is a style in which one’s own needs are defended over the needs of others. It is based on little regard for future relations and the exercise of coercive power. There is a tendency to seek control over an argument, both in substance and in basic rules.
ACCOMMODATING STYLE- I Lose/ You Win
People who use this style put their needs in the background in front of those of others, trying to be diplomatic. They tend to allow each other’s needs to overwhelm their own, which may never be mentioned, as preserving the relationship is considered the most important thing.
EVASSIVE STYLE- I Lose/You Lose
It is a common response to the negative perception of conflict. It is preferred not to treat it directly in the hope that it will disappear on its own. But in general, all that happens is that feelings accumulate, opinions are not expressed, and the conflict escalates until it becomes too great to ignore, grows and spreads until it kills the relationship.
COMMITTED STYLE- I Win-I Lose/You Win-Lose
In this approach, people win and lose at the same time in some aspects. While it may initially seem satisfactory, compromise is generally not suitable in the long run, as it involves a solution in which both parties have the perception that they have lost, that they have given up. It is a feeling of needing to be content with the loss, but without necessarily understanding the other point of view. It usually leads to a lack of confidence and avoiding taking risks with more collaborative behaviors.
COLLABORATIVE STYLE- I Win/ You Win
It is the combination of individual needs and goals towards a common goal. Often called “win-win problem solving,” collaboration requires assertive communication and cooperation to achieve a better solution that either person could have achieved on their own. It offers the possibility of consensus, the integration of needs and even being able to find creative alternatives that go beyond those initially exposed.
Stages of a Negotiation
The preparation:
Thus, to be clear about the objectives I seek, the purpose of those objectives, (why I want to achieve them), what resources I need and what alliances and what I am willing to offer for it. Understand in the same way what are the possible objectives, purposes, resources and offer that the other party can plan. Seek to empathize with that person.
The meeting:
Observe, read the signs. Investigate, explore, dialogue with the other, because in order to propose, you must first discover what the other party wants.
Transparency:
Don’t tell lies about agreements and information sharing. Generate trust in shared objectives, seek the interdependence of what the parties seek.
Honesty:
Integrity and sincerity regarding the promises and commitments agreed in the negotiation. Fidelity to the professional relationship created.
Equity:
Meet the needs and interests of both parties.
Coherence:
Agree on real commitments, which you know you can really fulfill.
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- The proposals
- Sharing and listening
- The closing and the agreement.
HOW TO TRAIN MY NEGOTIATION SKILLS?
What is your usual trading style
Reflect on what your usual negotiation style is when you meet a specific person with whom you have had a conflict or more complex situation, for having ideas and points of view contrary to yours or with different objectives in your professional relationship.
What behavior do you adopt?
What motivates you to adopt it?
How do you feel in those moments?
What results do you get with that behavior?
What would you like to do differently?
Write down your concrete action plan for the next time you meet that person.
Situation to practice
Choose a situation to practice in which there may be potential conflict and you want to try a different approach than the one you usually use.
For example, when making a claim in a store for a product.
Explore different ways to communicate your disagreement and see how you feel and what results you get from that other behavior.
Aim to practice with a different action for each week until you try the different approaches and the results they give you.
And you, what would you like to comment or add in relation to this topic? What do you consider relevant in the negotiation capacity?
