Another recommended book. I have recently read a book that I found very interesting and that I would like to recommend to you. It is called “Quiero paz” book by Paz Calap and, although its fundamental theme is to accompany the practice of mindfulness and meditation, it is at the same time proposing deep reflections on various aspects that we often deal with in coaching processes.
I Want Peace Calap’s Book of Peace: Mind and Mindfulness
About the book Quiero Paz de Paz Calap, I would like to highlight some of the ideas that I have found most revealing:
I Want Peace Book: Becoming Aware
It is important to be aware that our mind reflects the way in which each one of us interprets life, how we “read” the reality that is happening to us. There is, therefore, no single magnifying glass to “see” that reality, it is neither good nor bad, only our own prism.
That magnifying glass will depend on the factors that we have encountered throughout our lives and that will give one color or another to that prism, (the knowledge acquired, the experiences lived, the programming acquired, the beliefs, genetics, etc.).
Our mind will condition, in turn, the type of thoughts we have every day, whether they are those that give us strength and energy or on the contrary those that take it away from us.
I find interesting the idea that the author raises of the “star thought“, which is the one with which you wake up in the morning and can be the one that conditions how you are going to feel the rest of the day. It is important to become aware of that thought and work on it, so that if it is positive and pleasant we encourage it, but if it is destructive we change it.
How? One of the techniques proposed by the author is to use gratitude. Look for several things for which you feel grateful, (being alive, having a new opportunity, being able to have a roof over your head or food, for example).
I Want Peace Book: Beliefs
Beliefs are the image we have of ourselves at this moment. It is also revealing to realize that the image we believe in is our “programming”, we have been forging throughout our lives through the messages we have been receiving and have created our personality.
It has to do with the influence that the people in our immediate environment have had on us since we were born, (parents, siblings, uncles, teachers, partners, friends, neighbors…), and also the culture, society and the experiences and learning we have lived.
On many occasions these people, even if they don’t want to, have also transmitted their fears, insecurities, limitations… and we have made them our own in some cases. These beliefs can therefore be limiting (those that take away my energy or slow me down with respect to what I think about my abilities) or driving (which are the ones that give me strength and help me move forward).
The good news, in my opinion, is that beliefs can be changed, they are not static. The first most important step for this is to detect precisely what are those beliefs that limit me and take away my confidence or energy, in order to “turn them around” and choose which are the driving beliefs for which I am going to change them.
I Want Peace Book: Awarenessof Your Values
Another idea that I want to highlight from the book is to become aware of your values. The priority we give to the values that are important to us in our lives can change throughout the different stages we go through.
This scale of values explains why we feel more comfortable with some people than with others or that in certain situations we are happy and calm and in others we feel that we are not satisfied.
The author defines values as the deep convictions of each one of us. Personally, I believe that being aligned with our values makes us coherent and feel good. On the contrary, the emotion we feel is disgust, which not only occurs when we are, for example, in front of a plate of food that we do not like, but also when there is a conflict of values.
In addition, the emotion is also reflected in the body in a similar way to the case of food, (our stomach “turns”, something “makes us nauseous”, makes us “reluctant”).
It is curious how we use the same expressions when we externalize physical disgust or a conflict of values. Becoming aware of these values is essential to be able to make better decisions and live according to them.
I Want Peace Book: The Labels
Another of the ideas that Paz raises has to do with the labels with which we identify ourselves in our lives. When we think about who or what we are, answers related to our profession, our role as father/mother/child/woman/man/husband/brother, ideology, belief, training, etc., come to mind.
But it is important to be aware that these are only labels, we identify with them, but we are really nothing like that. I am not a body, a thought, a belief, a role, or a profession. Our essence is something that goes far beyond those simple labels, I am consciousness, I simply am.
Personally, I find this idea very liberating, and it greatly broadens the vision of our being, our essence. Labels limit us, they take away our strength and energy, especially when we do not meet “the expectations” associated with those labels. These labels are associated with the “character” that we have been creating and building throughout life.
But nothing remains in time, everything changes and so does our character. Detachment from these labels makes us capable of understanding a full life outside the expectations that others or ourselves have. The real challenge is to let go of that identification, since our true identity is invulnerable. The important thing is, simply, the being.
ABOUT MINDFULNESS
The author also transmits in a very simple way the keys to the practice of mindfulness.
Mindfulness is a practice where you’re focused on the present moment, the here, and now. It is a philosophy of life that has many effects, such as reducing the level of stress, helping you to sleep better, increase creativity, concentration and memory, or to accept reality as it is, for example.
The author guides the reader through simple practices to train this mindfulness technique and to understand how to incorporate it into our daily lives.
From Quiero Paz, Paz Calap gives us some ideas to take into account for this:
“I want peace”: on mindfulness
- Have a beginner’s mind: be open to experience, without prejudice, be in the moment with fresh eyes and interest.
- Wanting to accept: things are as they are so that we can learn, so it is necessary to accept that flow of life.
- Practicing detachment is a way to avoid unnecessary suffering, to understand that this attachment to material things, to circumstances and even to people is what makes you suffer.
- Be willing not to judge, avoiding labels that lead to classifying things or situations as good-bad, ugly or pretty. simply accept and enjoy without judging.
- Trust, to know that everything happens for a greater good and that everything is perfect and is good as it is and as it happens.
- To have patience, to look at nature, which is a very clear example of patience and acceptance. Practice patience with ourselves and others.
- To be relaxed, that there is no disproportionate effort, but that things arise naturally and our acceptance is also natural.
- To feel gratitude for life, simply for the fact of being alive, being able to feel, breathe, love, live.
- Being generous, feeling peace and love for ourselves and others, giving and receiving are the same thing.
- Feeling love and compassion is what surrounds the previous ideas, when you look with love fear dissolves, love can do everything.
And you, what do you think of these ideas?
What comments would you like to make in relation to these reflections?
What benefits do you find in the practice of mindfulness?
Finally, I recommend reading Quiero Paz, Paz Calap’s book.
